1969 (1986)

Directed by: Ernest Thompson
Written by: Ernest Thompson
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Kiefer Sutherland, Bruce Dern, Mariette Hartley, Winona Ryder, Joanna Cassidy

Kiefer Sutherland plays Scott, a naïve and idealistic 19-year-old who attends college with his best friend Ralph (Downey Jr.) to avoid being drafted into the army and shipped out to Vietnam, the fate that has befallen his older brother. The film focuses on the boy's experiences during their last summer of innocence, but nothing much really happens. They go to San Francisco, sit in a bar, then come straight home again. Ralph has a bad LSD trip, while Scott falls in love with Ralph's younger sister (Ryder,) and grows increasingly adrift from his war-hero father (Dern) over the war in Vietnam. Even though the film takes place in 1969, nothing of that era is successfully captured here, and the presence of three young stars of the 80's doesn't help either.

Watching it, you sit there waiting for something meaningful to happen, something interesting that might make you give a damn about the people involved. You wait and you wait, and finally, five minutes from the end credits, the film pulls an 'inspiring' and 'uplifting' scene that is truly horrible to watch. I really mean that – it's horrible. I couldn't believe it was actually happening, or that a screenwriter of any merit would expect us to believe that the characters' deeply ingrained convictions about a subject as complex as that which he has tried to tackle could be swept aside so superficially.



Final Verdict: Skip It

Weird Science (1985)

Directed by: John Hughes
Written by: John Hughes
Starring: Kelly LeBrock, Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Bill Paxton, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Robert Downey Jr., Robert Rusler, Vernon Wells, Michael Berryman

The plot is simple. Two unpopular teenage virgins (Hall and Mitchell-Smith) use a supercomputer to build the perfect woman (Kelly LeBrock.) She's programed to give them whatever they want. (Why they only create one for the two of them is a little kinky, no?) Instead of giving them what they want, the all-knowing Lisa gives them what she knows they really want. They want to be popular, well liked, cool, and most of all, popular with the ladies. So she sets out to boost their confidence using her magic powers and sex appeal in various ways.

The boys deal with bullies (Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Rusler,) a nasty older brother (Bill Paxton,) uptight parents, a gang of mutant bikers, a nuclear warhead in the living room, and cranky grandparents, all while gaining respect from their classmates and winning the affection of two popular girls from school.

Personally, I have never been big a fan of John Hughes movies*. I think 'Sixteen Candles,' 'Ferris Bueller,' and 'The Breakfast Club' are all overrated. They're not bad movies, I've just never personally found them very interesting.

But I really enjoyed 'Weird Science.' It's probably one of the most unpretentious films I've ever seen. It's random, funny, bizarre and has a refreshing anarchic feel to it. It's like a punk film without the punks.

Watch the Trailer

Final Verdict: See It

*Excludes the first three 'Vacation' movies, 'Class Reunion,' 'Uncle Buck,' 'Home Alone 1 & 2,' 'Beethoven 1 & 2,' and 'Dennis the Menace.' All films I cherish from my childhood. He only wrote those ones.

Chattahoochee (1990)

Directed by: Mick Jackson
Written by: James Hicks
Starring: Gary Oldman, Dennis Hopper, Frances McDormand, Pamela Reed, Ned Beatty, M. Emmet Walsh

Emmet Foley (Oldman,) a decorated but troubled Korean War vet suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and impotence, has a breakdown and goes on a shooting spree in his neighborhood, subliminally hoping to commit "suicide by cop." When that fails, he shoots himself in the chest but survives to be sentenced to a maximum security mental hospital in 1955 Florida. While recovering, he begins to feel a sense of rage over the mistreatment and open abuse of his fellow inmates, whose needs are ignored in an atmosphere of neglect and filth. With the help of another inmate (Hopper) and his faithful sister (Reed,) he begins a campaign against the entrenched bureaucracy to improve conditions for his fellow patients.

This film would have been better if the director had managed to reel the cast in a little bit. Oldman and Hopper in particular. Their scenes come across as ham-fisted and over the top, ruining scenes that were supposed to be harrowing and shocking. McDormand, playing the dimwitted wife, has a couple decent scenes, but she's far from memorable in this. Pamela Reed, on the other hand, gives a good solid performance in this, free of histrionics and scenery chewing.

The script is another problem. It's filled with every cliche in the 'insane asylum' genre book. From cruel orderlies to heartless hospital bureaucrats to long scenes of suffering. There's nothing here that we haven't seen dozens of times before.

All in all it's not a horrible film, it's just very predictable and routine. There are other, better films to see if you want a look inside the horrors of mid-twentieth century psychiatric wards.

Final Verdict: Skip It

The Gate (1987)

Directed by: Tibor Takacs
Written by: Michael Nankin
Starring: Stephen Dorff, Christa Denton, Louis Tripp, Kelly Rowan, Jennifer Irwin

When three kids (Dorff, Denton, and Tripp) accidentally open up a gateway to hell in their backyard, an army of demon creatures is unleashed. While their parents are away, it's up to them and their friends to defeat the evil creatures and close the portal.

This late 80's train-wreck is rips off both 'Gremlins' and 'Poltergeist.' We get a suburban tract house as the source of evil and cheesy demonic apparitions. But we also get little gray claymation creatures running around. As the film goes on each scene gets more ridiculous than the last, until the laughably bad final showdown. That's all there really is to say about this instantly forgettable kiddie horror flick.

Final Verdict: Skip It